Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Two Dog Heart

Today I did something that I haven't done in awhile and went to the shelter to walk the dogs. I used to be a faithful Wednesday walker, but lately life has gotten in the way and I haven't been making the time like I used to. Walking the dogs is a double edged sword. I always leave with a mixture of emotions bumping around in my heart.

Joy: because the enthusiasm and love that the dogs lavish on anyone who will pay them attention is contagious and I can't help but feel happy for these lucky dogs who are patiently waiting for their families to find them.

Frustration: why doesn't the whole world understand how important it is to spay and neuter pets? I swear, the woeful, emaciated mamas that come in with huge litters of puppies break my heart into a million pieces.

Sadness: each dog at this one shelter represents hundreds of others who will never make their way to a safe haven and have a chance to live out their lives in the arms of a loving family.

Rage: pretty much the same as frustration but add anger.

Contemplation: obviously the problem of pet overpopulation is not a simple one or it wouldn't be so widespread. My last thought as I'm leaving the shelter is almost always, "What else can I do?"

What makes the dog on the left (McGee), so different from the dog on the right (Pokey)?
Today as I spent time in Pokey's run with her and watched her tremble in fear as I sat down next to her on her blanket, I had the same conversation with myself that I've had so many times before. McGee really does need a friend. This dog is so sweet and mild, I'm sure the two of them would get along fine given the proper introduction. McGee just hasn't met the right dog yet, but maybe this one would be just the right match for her. I wonder if we just took them on lots of walks together first if it might work out...
The inner monologue goes on for miles. Today as I sat stewing and brooding, Pokey decided that I wasn't so bad after all. She lay back down on her blanket and tentatively placed her substantial head on my thigh. Her wrinkly brow was knit with worry and she wore a pencil eraser sized scab on her nose from who knows what happened to her before she arrived. Suddenly, she took a deep breath and then let out a massive, rattling sigh from the bottom of her lungs. I felt her head grow heavier as she licked her lips and settled her skinny little body into the floor and my leg.
Her eyes watched me the whole time and her giant antenna ears were tuned in and waiting for any sign of trouble, but I could tell that we were maybe starting to be on a friendly kind of basis. I situated my palm on her head and noticed how she had brand new fur growing on her skull where the old fur probably fell out from malnutrition or mange. I rubbed the big crease between her eyes and since her ears were so ready for listening, I sang her silly made up songs about what a good dog she is.
While I sat, I felt all of those emotions. Each of them jostling around inside of me, demanding to be heard. I'm so glad you're safe Pokey. It's terrible that someone could have witnessed you starving and losing your fur and done nothing to help you. The fact that you are not sure whether to fear me or not is filling me with grief. I am so angry that you ever had to suffer for even one minute. How can I help you even if I can't bring you home with me?
Really, the only thing that makes these two dogs different is that I met McGee in July of 2012 when I had space in my home to bring home a new family member. Sweet Pokey could easily have been my dog as well if time and fate had brought us together at a different moment. I think, more than anything, this is the most painful thing that shelter workers and good Samaritans face: the feeling that you could love and cherish any one of the dogs that you meet, if only you could bring one more home.
For now, the reality of my one dog household outweighs the desires of my two dog heart.  
If you or your loved ones are looking to adopt, please consider sweet Pokey. She is residing at The Humane Society of Calvert County in Sunderland, MD.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Daddy's Girl

She looks up to him.
I am pretty sure that of all the humans, Dog Dad is McGee's first favorite.

How do I know this?

She like to sleep in his dirty clothes. Sometimes I can't find her in the middle of the day and then I discover her in a pile of stinky work shirts in the corner of the bedroom, happily snoring (note to Dog Dad: it's called a hamper). She does not sleep in my clothes. I guess they smell too good. It's both cute and sad to see her sleeping on his smelly old laundry because I know that she would prefer to be cuddled up with him.

She is only happy if we are both home. If I come home and Dad's not here, McGee acts as if she is still by herself. She does this by continuing to nap. She'll open one eye to check and see if it's me and then close her eyes and go back to dreaming. I swear she knows the sound of his truck though because she's off the couch and sitting by the door before he even climbs out. As soon as he walks in the door suddenly it's party party all the time. WTF McGee? Don't I reek of fun? You make me feel like I used to feel at college parties- not very cool and like I might need another drink.

I must be as close to you as possible Dad. It is for your own protection.
She shows off for him. You wanna see me chew my antler Dad? You wanna see me pulverize my stuffed dog? You wanna wrestle? You wanna watch me itch my face all over the carpet? You wanna see me get out every toy I own? Look at my teeth. Look at my tail. Oh wait, let me get closer and put my tail in your face so you can see it all up close and personal-like. I will wag it for you and show you how it works. Right paw shake. Left paw shake. Look at my belly. Now I am stretching. I can do yoga too, you wanna see? You wanna watch me chase my tail? Hey Dad, Dad, Dad, hey, hey, hey Dad hey... etc and so forth.

She even likes the smell of his feet. That is true love.
She seems to be under the impression that he is a mountain and she herself, a fearless billy goat. Self
explanatory I think.

Though I find that I am a little hurt from time to time by her unbridled adoration for our guy, mostly I just laugh and shake my head and feel relieved that they are infatuated with each other. I did, after all, bring her home before they had even met. He told me, "If you like her, so will I." I'm so glad that they turned out to love each other and being second favorite does have it's perks.

After all, first favorite is the one who usually gets farted on.

Does your dog play favorites?

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Flower Dog

When we got engaged back in February 2012, we did not have McGee. We still lived in NYC and had high hopes of getting a dog someday, but could not possibly have imagined the little gremlin who would eventually share our abode.

Fast forward to February 2013: our wedding is 5 months away at this point and we're ironing out the details. We are certain that we want McGee to be in the wedding, but what role will she play? Ring bearer? Hostess with the mostest? Food taste tester? Talent show entertainment? So many options.

We ultimately decided that she would be one of our flower girls, alongside our nieces aged 13 and 5. We dubbed her "Flower Dog" and hoped for good behavior and no pooping in the aisle. I custom ordered her a collar from Puddles and Posies made from scraps of all the ties we had already ordered for the men in the wedding party. We decided that she would walk down the aisle with our elder niece while the younger walked ahead and, in the fashion of Gretel, laid a path of doggie biscuits for McGee to follow.

I have to say that McGee, with all her endearing quirks and challenging attributes, was a source of some stress for me in the days leading to our wedding. Will she knock our niece over and drag her down the aisle? Will she joyfully scamper through the barn and then tackle me in my dress? Will she get nervous and refuse to move at all when she sees the huge assembly of people?

Turns out, none of these fears were validated. While I can't quite say that she was a perfect lady, she did her best McGee and that's saying a lot. She ignored the dog treats that our niece so carefully placed on the ground in favor of snarfling and snuffling the grass, she had to wear her usual harness along with her pretty new collar for safety's sake, and she spent the duration of the ceremony having her leash passed from one member of the wedding party to the next since she couldn't decide on where she had the best view of... who knows what.

Our special considerations for McGee were not limited to the ceremony alone. The week before the wedding she stayed with my in-laws. They have a Rottweiler of their own, so her visit to their house was a constant game of dog shuffling- one would head out the back door as the other was secreted into the front of the house, and they each had their own bedroom for night times. Poor Achilles probably wondered what the heck was going on.

In the week before the wedding, Dog Dad and I had an additional half dozen people sleeping at our house and it was delightfully heart warming to see sweet McGee switching from person to person so that everyone could have an equal opportunity to love on her. She cozied up to anyone who would make room on the couch (or the blow up mattress) and we were relieved to see our dog's true personality shining through. McGee is a dog who is difficult to get to know unless she's in an environment where she is at ease. Since my family lives far away, most of them had never had the opportunity to spend quality time with the real McGee and they were all super smitten by the time their visit was over.

We also took what may seem an extreme step to some and asked all of our guests to leave their dogs at home. This may sound like a no brainer for a wedding, but since our party was a weekend of camping and the vast majority of our loved ones love dogs, it was actually a difficult thing to ask. We knew that this would be our one chance (maybe ever) to secure a completely McGee friendly environment, and just as much as the weekend was for us to enjoy, we wanted her to enjoy herself as well and have the most stress free experience possible. This meant a dog free zone for her to spend time relaxing and soaking up attention from all her aunties and uncles without the constant hyper-vigilance that it means for us when other pups are around.

All in all, I think we had great success introducing our girl to our community. She surprised me by showing up at our reception in the company of my sister and having her leash passed around among several of our other dog-doting guests. I felt so lucky to be surrounded by people who cared enough to take the time to understand our dog's special needs and give her the same care and affection that we try to give her every day.

I am so glad that we made the decision to include McGee in our wedding ceremony. Dog or not, she is the center of our little family and the day just wouldn't have been complete without her there. In 50 years when we reminisce about what made our union special, we will undoubtedly look at the photos and recall our McGee. She will be long gone by then, but we will smile and remember her velvety ears and think of how much we loved her on the day we promised to love each other forever.

A special thank you to Taylor Dunham Photography for the beautiful shots!
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